20. Franklin’s basket

Benjamin Franklin, man of culture, science, political beast, diplomat, writer, inventor, one of the Founding Fathers of the USA, wrote in June 1745 in a letter titled Advice to a Friend on Choosing a Mistress:

The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.

Just try to image the basket…

I laughed so hard when I read that. Men are unbelievable.

So, according to Franklin, all your Laolao would have to do is to wear a basket covering her head all the way to her waist to seduce and please a young man. Hilarious. I’m picturing the scene.

How old was Franklin when he thought that one up? Lets see… Almost 40. I’m intrigued: Did he consider himself old or young at the time? Did he use for women the same criteria as the ones he applied to himself when selecting their age epithet?

I live in a country where 30 is considered old. Single women of that age are an abnormality, socially rejected, impaired, a shame.

Right after college, graduates expect a senior position in a corporation. To wait 10 or 20 years for experience to develop is perceived as a non-sense.

There’s no discourse on beauty, it’s all about cuteness.

I wonder, when I stand in front of my students, what they think. I’m still teaching at an age where women, in China, have already retired.

You see, sweetheart, I find my students very conventional. They abhor risks. They’re very much into group-think. They repeat in the same chorus traditional views about every topic one can think of. They dislike originality, signs of individuality. They never want to stand out. They express opinions always in line with what’s socially acceptable. They never dare present an idea of their own. No imagination or interest beyond price tags and brand names. Their values are always within the frame of the expected. They take no initiatives, always happy with the minimum and surfaces.

So, I gather, they must think, looking at me or other lecturers, that growing old involves reading unusual stuff, having passions, getting out of line when discussing, coming up with ideas that disturb standards. Being bothersome because of questions asked, causing trouble with a critical approach and noisy arguments. Wasting time trying new stuff. Being disruptive through efforts to trigger change. Never happy the way things are.

My students must think that growing old corresponds to being curious, inventive. Even provocative. A sort of eccentricity, carelessness about established norms. They must surely think, as an example, that getting involved in a project for other purposes than making money is a sign of senility. Having fun with concepts, theories, possibilities are symptoms of an aging mind, shopping’s much better. Fascination with differences are side-effects of mental deterioration. A taste for experimentation, a definite mental handicap brought about advanced age and its disharmonious functioning.

That’s probably why I often feel I’m not reaching my students. I can’t wake them up. They’re probably telling themselves between naps that they don’t want to grow old. They must find the behavior I’m suggesting preposterous, besides too tiring and unsafe.

I haven’t yet found a way to convince them – if they’re so worried about maturity - that all they would really need when going to bed is a good, sturdy basket. But during the day, they should walk around.

Laolao